27/03/2015

This month was one of the most amazing times I had alone. I went to different places to see things for myself, traveled to many places in Singapore to see the reservoir and also the Henderson wave. I felt great doing all the traveling alone where I can put everything aside and just enjoy the journey. The view at woodland waterfront and the Henderson wave were very fascinating. There were no noises and not much people around. The amount of peace I felt was overwhelming. Funny how it felt really satisfying when I go to this places and the fact that I did all this are pretty amazing. I look forward to the remaining park or reservoir that I would be going to soon.  Sometimes, I think I am crazy. I love the feeling of doing things alone such as apply for the Melbourne trip and the coming Cambodia trip. Pretty crazy how I told myself I can make new friends anywhere if I need to so I didn’t see a need to ask my current friends to join me. Perhaps, all these mindset made me step out of my comfort zone till it is a norm to me when comes to interacting with anyone. Maybe someday I would travel to see the world alone…

My niece had her first birthday party after being born to this world. Love love love this kind of family gathering and had a little chat with my uncle. He told me maybe I should cancel my plan of working straight after army. Maybe go see the world and maybe start a business or something.  Because right now, I have a stall that I can have as a backup plan if anything fails. So he suggested that I should be doing something else that I really like. Took many picture with my cousins and I thank God for all these times.  Recently, I have been helping out at Ken’s mum fruit stall at Far East plaza. No doubt I learnt many things from auntie who have taught me how to cut fruits efficiently and her lesson about life. On the days that I work, she will talk to me about life and I am just as amazed how cool she is as a mother and a wife. I remember one day she asked me what is my dream? I said I don’t have a dream but I do intend to travel every year. She said that is a dream and it can be accomplished. Then it hit me hard thinking that this is the dream that I had since young and maybe I can do this right after I end army. Something to consider in the near future and how surprising it was that two adults talked about the exact same thing to me.

 Also celebrated Granddad’s birthday this month where we had dinner in a restaurant. Joy and laughter can be heard from afar because we were making so much noise and snatching of the food to a point where Crystal’s Boyfriend got a shock how we snatch it before the plate of food was on the table. Lastly, went to Palau Ubin for a training camp to get us ready for Cambodia trip. Yes, I was alone and didn’t know anyone. Sometimes I think that the only thing that RP had taught me is to socialize with people and I did. The group bonded in a click when everyone made the effort to talk to each other and soon everyone is comfortable with each other. The night came and everyone had to talk about anything about themselves that they hardly share with others. I think this is a brilliant move because I felt that we really know each other trigger point and not step on it. This also made us closer to each other before the Cambodia trip. I had a great time with all of them and I really pray that the trip would be as exciting as it is and as memorable as possible because this is my last trip as a student of RP. Therefore, I thank God for this amazing month. It has been a month that I lived fully and making use of my free time to do what I want to do. Hopefully more will come and Thank the Lord for everything that he has gave me. Felt really Bless. AMEN!

Poly life has officially ended. Kinda bitter sweet feeling for me because I will not ever go to school as a student anymore for the first time in 20 years. All the mixed feeling that I had was really frustrating. The part of not knowing what would be the next step to take makes me afraid. I am afraid being stuck in a job that I dislike. I am afraid that I will not be able to succeed in life. I am afraid of how my life will completely change. All these little thoughts will pop out in my mind hence question me what will be my next step. One wrong move and reality will hit you hard.  Next, going to serve the nation for 2 years and work till I die. Sometime I ask myself, do I really want to work at something that doesn’t give me anything but money or go do something that I really want to. What I really wanted to do would be to go to the countries that I want, work for a couple of months, explore the country and move to the next available country. But I know that my family will neither support nor allow me to do that. Kind of sad I just don’t have the courage to do what I want to do. To live a life that I want or live a life that I need to?? Maybe in the coming 2 years, God will give me an answer…. Hopefully by then, I am ready to make a decision on my life.  

Next up, CAMBODIA!!!!!